I'm OK

as always, I grab my blog title from a song... this one is I'm OK off the pieces of eight album by Styx. It was kind of a favorite in high school, because of it's somewhat reaffirming message, helped sooth some of those growing pains that every adolescent goes through.
Funny thing happened on the way to senility. Adulthood.. life.. a couple other things you may have heard about. well.. here's the thing. I find myself saying it a lot lately. Way to much in fact. And usually as a response to the query " how are you, are you OK "

so yes.. let me first say I'M OK.... no really , I am.. but here's the thing

If I'm not OK, the fact that you are asking me about it means you're not the person I want to talk to about things that bug me anyway. And there are really only about three things that bug me more than someone asking me if I'm OK. One of them is Justin Bieber.
Look, I appreciate where the question comes from, and I hope there is genuine concern behind it when I'm asked, but really .. what are you saying to someone when you ask them "are you OK". Sometimes tho, it's really hard to discern. And, to be honest, I'm a little weary of it. I mentioned that to a close friend tonight.. (who by the way I do trust and share things with that are bothering me.. and she responded, unprompted, with exactly what I was thinking)

"yea, I notice you get that a lot from some people on your facebook page..everytime you post something it's like 'are you OK, are you OK ' >> like they're trying to be your mother or something, running to aid you. I want to say sometimes, Look, he's a grown up he can handle problems, stop making bigger deals about things then need be. "

yea, I said, sometimes I think people just use it as an excuse to start a conversation.

I will admit, I can be vague, usually with intent. Before I share something with someone, I want to make sure they listen. I've had too many people around me in my life who didn't listen and only let me talk long enough for them too catch their breath.. too many people who interrupted me mid sentence to say what they felt was important completely ignoring what i had to say.

so I don't share... until i know you hear. when you ask me "are you OK" what I hear is not how can I help you, instead I hear "how can I get what I want from you by pretending to be interested" I know, it's sad a bitter and jaded, but it is what it is. Funny thing is.. when I tell people about it, you know what they say... "oh my gosh are you OK ?? "
>>>> did you not hear what I just said ?

yea, this probably doesn't make much sense, just a tired late night rambling. So let me just make it really easy.. DONT ASK ME IF I'M OK... i will respond with "yea, I'm fine, thanks for caring" and move on.. If I'm not OK, I will take the things that bother me to someone I trust and share them until I either have solved the issue, or have 'got it out of my system'
If you have to ask... I'm not going to tell you, because basically

I'M OK