3 sides to every story.

so, i've had a couple days now to contemplate this and kick it around. Admittedly, writing this is probably a mistake, but i am writing anyway. For my non-mormon friends, this will maybe help you understand my POV a bit better, for my mormon friends... well, a handful of you will get it and the rest will want to exspunge me. I live in a strange culture, where an exorbitant amount of prestige and pressure is placed on being married. As i mentioned in a previous blog, I am slowly drifting away from that mindset, and something happened this week that reminded me why.
I recieved a handful of calls and texts about a status update that appeared on FB last sunday night. People wondering if I had read it, and what my reaction to it was. As it happened, the author of said update was somebody with whom I am well acquainted, infact i spent a considerable amount of time with her over the summer, so much so that some people thought we were a couple. Which is why i suppose people wanted my take on what was written. Well, since the author has blocked me from viewing her page, I was unable to read it. It took some considerable doing on my part, but I finally read the post.. as follows ....

I am going to be the brave one here and say what all us single girls are thinking and saying to each other, but not saying to the guys.
1 We know your ex was a witch and hurt you very badly. News flash, ours did too.
2 We know you are scared of getting hurt yet again and that is why you are slow to open up and let us in. News flash, we are too. Yet we are just a bit more brave than you as we are willing to take the chance to find real love.
3 We know you are so mad that you are not over it and punish all women for her mistakes. News flash, get some counseling and stop hurting us for her mistakes. We don't punish you for his mistakes.
4 You want a Barbie doll? You need to be Ken. We aren't all Barbies, and you certainly are not all Kens. Your are passing by the most awesome women for a fantasy that will fade and then you are wondering where your Barbie Doll went, and she is taking off with your pocket book and car.
5 We know that if you gave us the chance to show you that you could trust us you would find an amazing treasure.
We all want the same things, love, loyalty, happiness, honesty, and to be cherished. We are willing to give you all that and more, but you have to let the past go and take a leap of faith.
Now, I am done. OK, girls our frustrations are out there. Guys, its time to do your business or get off the potty!


so, granted, because of the relationship i had with the person, I am probably internalizing this way too much... but I am,
perhaps she is correct and I (as well as the rest of the 'guys') need counseling. but then that leads to my initial question..If i need counseling so badly, what does it say about you that this is being written to convince me to actively pursue a relationship with you ?

ok.. so.. to each point.. #1) yes I know all about your ex's,.... cause you talk about them all the time, i know what a dirtbag he was, that he lies, that he never pays child support, that he just uses your kids to manipulate you, that he's thoughtless, sociopath who god will punish for all his sins oneday ... etc etc etc. ohhh I also know way more then i need to know about his bitch new girlfriend who has no right to treat your kids like they're hers ... which then leads me to number #3).... yes, you do punish me for his mistakes... almost daily.
Thing is, sometimes you don't even know you're doing it. apparently...
but again.. if you weren't... WHY WOULD YOU WRITE THIS ?
#2) well, congrats on being more brave, but let me reference number 4... "will take your pocket book and your car" yes, your right, you ladies do that. You want kids right away, and you want to be taken care of, and if your laundry list of needs aren't met you take my pocket book, my car and OUR KIDS and leave, then try to drive me into bankruptcy. YOU ARE DAMN STRAIT i am slow to open up.. look at all i stand to lose if this thing goes sideways, what exactly are you risking ??
AND YOU KNOW THIS, YOU JUST WROTE ABOUT IT, AND YOU STILL DON'T CARE ABOUT MY CONCERNS and MY THOUGHTS., RUSH RUSH RUSH ... all you want is what you want, the way you want, the moment you want it ... right now. Yea, this relationship is really gonna be fair and healthy.
seriously, to my non-mormon friends.. when I tell the women in my circle that i've had a vasectomy, 3/4 of them say, without even batting an eyelash "well, they reverse those things now"
yea, thanks for completely invalidating my thougts and decisions and letting me know exactly where i will stand in this relationship.

which leads to point #5 ..we know you could trust us... ACTUALLY, no, infact, again, you demonstrate in this letter that i can't trust you. You prove it when I set a simple boundary and you crash through it, when you try to push me into situations you know i don't want, or when you say things like ... "do your business or get off the potty"

again.. i am speaking for myself here, but you know what, I did my business, twice. I'm not on the potty.. Why are you trying to put me there... BECAUSE YOU WANT ME THERE .... look, I am sorry that some of you have never been married, or have been single for a long time, and you are perhaps justified in thinking it's your turn. but it's not my responsiblity to fix that for you. I have raised my family, and am very content with my life right now. I have no desire to be rushed into something you want when you are so oblivious to what i want.

this blog, like all my blogs, takes it title from a song or album, in this case Extreme's 3sides to every story, the three sides are basically, yours, mine, and the truth.. well, this is yours and mine.. I suppose the truth is out there.

ohhh and one more thing.. If i have to watch THE NOTEBOOK or PRIDE and PREJUDICE at another singles movie night I'm gonna freaking lose it... for real, not just on my blog.... F*** you MR DARCY, and the horse you rode in on.